It Doesn't Have To Be A Bad Horse©

    If I'm only allowed one phrase to share with my readers - it would be "it doesn't have to be a bad horse to be the wrong horse."  This is easier understood by folks who are exposed to lots of horses. When you become acquainted with many horses over the years, you undoubtedly begin to see the value in this phrase. More important than any individual horse, is the matching of horse and rider.

    For most of my life I had one or two personal riding horses. After I made the choice to buy, I lived with my choice. An actual example of that was a mare called Velvet. My husband gave her to me when we were first married. I never liked her and she never liked me; and I kept her for almost 16 years! I was stuck in the belief that you don't sell a horse once you buy it. When I finally sold Velvet, she went to a young woman who was crazy about her. By then, Velvet was getting on in years, and so the time they had together was limited. What a shame. All those years that Velvet lived with me, she could have been with someone who actually appreciated her.

    Once I began a business of pairing horse and owner, I saw similar examples of making compatible connections. Now I'm not suggesting that it's a good thing to go through a series of horses to get to the right one. Great care should be made at the time of purchase.  I'm also not suggesting to give up on a horse if there are any areas of difficulty. I've also been distressed to see some people go through a string of horses and still not find the one that they think is "the one."

    My wonderful yellow horse, Goldrush, and me, are a great example of hitting the jackpot right off the bat. It is also an example of a horse that would have probably gone from owner to owner if we hadn't been lucky enough to make such a terrific connection. Goldrush is what I describe as an idiosyncratic horse. He is very emotional and very sensitive. He counts on me for his strength and bravery. These emotional horses are so interesting because they are usually extremely talented and appear to have enormous bravado. The truth is, they are frequently fearful and easily "set off ."  They draw from the strength of the "alpha" who is the rider. This doesn't mean that the rider has to be a strong and polished rider. It does mean that the rider must be confident and comfortable on and around the particular horse. This is a combination that is almost impossible to predict. The rider must simply sense this trust in the horse.

    I've written many times about this magical connection, because when it truly exists, everything wonderful is possible.

    One major drawback is knowing when this trust actually exists. If you have never experienced this connection, then how do you know when it is present?  My best recommendation would be don't try to MAKE it happen. Let's face it, we can do a great job of talking ourselves into thinking the connection is there, whether it is or not. How else could we justify buying that cute sweater that doesn't fit - but surly will, once we diet?

    If you are shopping for a horse it's a good idea to spend time with several horses. Now is not the time to settle. Keep a quiet heart and allow time to simply be with the horse. "Chat" with it for a while before you ever think about getting on its back. Be still and if you are feeling comfortable, put put your arms around the horse's neck and let it feel your heartbeat. Don't feel forced to talk to the owners or to the friend or partner you brought along. Concentrate on the horse and watch carefully the way it responds to you. Only you can possible know if there is a flicker of fear in your heart. All it takes is one flutter to undermine the success of your partnership.

    If you are feeling calm and confident around the horse, then it's time to ask the owners to saddle up and ride the horse for you to watch. Pay attention to the behavior and reactions of the horse before you ever get into the saddle. If you decide the two of you are a match, there is time enough to address your relationship as it will develop in the months and years to come. By this I mean don't discount a horse because it may be out of shape, or has an inconsistent gait, or has to learn to stand still to be mounted. If you are confident around the horse, all those things will develop and improve as you two begin your journey together. When you feel confident around the horse, you can act as trainer and in the process find joy and success.